Mile Hive

MileHive's Cameron Cowan opines that just as straight people might stereotypes about gay men, that gay men, in turn, hold stereotypes about their own kind. And "few of them are positive or uplifting," Cowan says, in what he calls a challenge to bigotry.

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Pick your local gay bar. Inside we have two guys, we'll call them Richard and Andrew.

They are sitting in a corner together holding hands, maybe kissing from time to time and say this within earshot, "He looks like he works in construction. See those hands? Must be straight and desperate. Or look over there, he has nice muscles. Must be a desperate gym rat. Look at that guy? He is so skinny and that's cool. But look at how straight he acts. Ah, I just saw some chocolate walk in the door. I wonder where his harem of women wanting that big dick is. What is he doing in here? I get sore just thinking about it." 

Is the gay male culture truly accepting of all?

It seems even among those who need "acceptance" there bigotry and racism. I began to study popular gay culture on the LOGO gay cable network, popular Internet pornography and the life if a gay man in Denver. Here are my conclusions:

1. Minority gay men are still ostracized, not fetishized, and looked down upon from the standard "gay" by profile.

2. As straight people have stereotypes of gay men, gay men have stereotypes of straight men and other gay men, few of them positive or uplifting.

3.The same straight physical stereotypes of men exist in the gay world and gay pop culture is about as bigoted about appearance as the straight world.

4. Who declared these "straight" and "gay" occupations?

My contribution intends to raise awareness on these matters in gay culture.Some people will read the below and say that I am over-reacting or that I haven't done my research. My chief point is to gently remind everyone who is a part of this journey that is gay culture, not to rest upon our laurels of acceptance.Certainly from the 1960's when all gay men were considered spineless and useless "fairies," or were drag queens, we have broadened our definition of what it means to be gay. Yet have we truly arrived? Have we created an all-accepting culture of everything that defines the gay experience?I argue we have come along way. There is still work to be done and I mean to demonstrate it below. Open your mind to what I have to say and I think you will see my point.

In the gay culture we take acceptance as something very important as we all are trying to be accepted. But are we really accepting minorities as viable gay men? What I mean as a viable gay man is one who is active in the life and is accepted among his gay peers. I would argue based upon popular gay culture, from television to magazines that the standard stereotype for the gay man is a young and white.

Black men are viewed primarily as desiring women only, yet there are plenty of young, black gay men. I would further argue is the same black stereotypes in mainstream culture have delved into gay culture as well. The stereotypes of thuggish black men surrounded by women (a popular rap image) or of tall comely black men who care for nothing more than using their (stereotypically large penises) on women. It leaves no room for those not-so-endowed men or gay black men who do not wish to be surrounded by women but by comely men.

I think at this point the reader is wondering if I am unnecessarily bashing the gay culture to make my point. I can say some progress has been made in this direction in the television arena and hopefully magazines and pornography will not be far behind.   

For this next paragraph, shut off that pornography of ripped "gay" (and I use that term loosely when speaking of those models) men and pay attention. I could just as easily with a few thousand dollars and the right model get those guys into any straight porno. I know pornography is meant to visually fulfill dreams and this sort of thing but let's be realistic. In a recent poll for GQ it was determined that most men did not have body image or genital image issues before watching pornography. So perhaps our friends in the pornography industry can get a little more realistic with their models and provide a little balance. "To thine ownself, be true."

Who determined "gay" occupations and "straight" occupations? Moreover, why should something so important as sexuality be determined by a destructive stereotype? For instance, someone decided that construction was a "straight" occupation and that interior design was a "gay" occupation. Why do we need to pigeonhole ourselves? Why do we need to do "gay" jobs or why are we determining the validity of our sexuality by outward appearances? 

Sexuality is something that each person must decide by himself, without exception everyone will give this matter at least 30 seconds thought in their life especially in the turbulent adolescent years. Is it so hard, for the one culture that demands so much acceptance to just be open? Just by holding our arms open to whatever comes to us, be that some "porno" model or just a common guy with a little love around the middle, we just have to enjoy what life will send to us.  

I think the culture demanding and desiring the most acceptance, should extend a little of they thing they desire most and rise above the shallowness that mainstream gay culture has become. Let us give ourselves depth and rise above with open minds, open hearts, and open eyes to everything and, most importantly, everybody that is in this culture we are so privileged to enjoy.

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